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Review

The Rainforest Café

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The Rainforest Café

20-24 Shaftesbury Ave, London W1

0845 345 1727

– over the top and proud of it – with its Vegas Amazon, mechanical beasties, the continual monkey cries, stools in the shape of zebra legs and a fake thunderstorm (minus shower) every half hour.

Worst of all, it celebrates one of the most vulnerable environments on earth, while waving the flag of globalisation. Sure, it makes token efforts to support relevant charities – specific dishes generate 10p – 25p towards purchasing a rainforest in Ecuador – but it feels like a diversion tactic. Why bother when you sell wooden toys that don’t appear to come from sustainable forests? When none of the goods in evidence are Fair Trade? When you instigate systems that waste paper and card that could, so easily, come from recycled materials.

Food is bulk-standard burgers and steaks, and not even good ones and, on this visit, came with cold fries. Very impressive. Desserts have cloying names, like Sparkling Volcano, and cloying execution: you’d get more taste and less sugar from a pound of crème eggs.

Service is smiley, and child friendly but it feels like forced and designed to stop you questioning the abundant examples of immorality on display. Hideous. With a capital hideous.